X is for X rated & X rays

This year I decided not to tie myself to a theme.  I wanted to do something that felt more like writing rather than composing posts.  I didn’t want it to be a story that had to be followed from start to finish so what I’ve ended up with are: “Conversations in my Head”.

Please!

No Alice!

Pretty please!

Which part of no do you not understand Alice.  We are not writing an X-rated post.  How could we?  You’re only 7 so you shouldn’t even know what X-rated means.

Of course I’m not 7.  I’ve been around for over 150 years.   I’m ancient.  And I’m privy to all the thoughts that go through your mind, so even if I was a 7 year old, I’d be a totally corrupt one.

All my thoughts?

Yes even the ones you’d rather I didn’t hear.  Especially when you’re cross with me.  And don’t even think about trying to filter some of them out.  It won’t work.  I can see straight through you.  It’s like I have x-ray vision into your brain.

Goodness Alice that it is scary.  Good thing you can’t talk.  Well at least not out loud and to other people than me.  You could really get me into trouble.

Don’t worry.  I’m working on it.  Anyway let’s talk about the alternative for X – x-rays.  How many have you had?

Oh I don’t know.  Quite a few.  There were many when I had my bunions corrected.  Before and after.   Then there were a couple of my head when I got hit with bats.  A pelvic one after I had the difficult birth with Rebecca.

Was that the one that got lost?

Yes.  We didn’t discover that until I was already pregnant with Matthew so it was a case of “well we’ll let you go into labour and see how things go.”  Not very reassuring but it turned out okay in the end.

Apart from his big head?

Well that was nothing to do with the x-ray or lack of it.  Or the delivery.  He just had a big head.  Of course he’ll maintain he needs it for all his brain!

He doesn’t take after you then?

He’s more like me than the other two I’ll have you know Alice.  And there is a brain in my head although sometimes it feels like it’s being squeezed out by an annoying parasite!

Charming.

Anyway where was I?  Oh yes I’ve had a few x-rays after falls but nothing broken fortunately.  And then there are the dental x-rays.

You seem to struggle with those.

Yes well apparently I don’t have a wide jaw opening so it’s a struggle to get the films in and in the right position.  Nothing wrong with my gag reflex though.

T.M.I.

You are so contrary Alice.  One minute you’re telling me you hear my every thought, then when I’m talking about my gag reflex it’s too much information.

I wonder if you’d show up on an x-ray.

I have no intention of letting you find out!

Spoilsport.