M is for Motherhood

This year I decided not to tie myself to a theme.  I wanted to do something that felt more like writing rather than composing posts.  I didn’t want it to be a story that had to be followed from start to finish so what I’ve ended up with are: “Conversations in my Head”.

Wendy, what’s it like being a Mother?

It’s wonderful but scary Alice.  Joyous and sad.  Exciting but exhausting.  It’s like being on a roller coaster at times.

How would you know?  You don’t go on roller coasters.  You don’t like theme park rides.

Well that’s true but I have been on a roller coaster in the past and sometimes, as a parent, you have to do things you don’t like.

Such as?

Well cleaning up vomit and excrement for starters!  Or walking past snakes when you really can’t bear them.

You’ve been past snakes? Real ones?  Live ones?

Yes but they were in tanks and I was trying very hard not to look at them which was difficult when walking through the reptile house at the zoo which wasn’t very well lit.

Why did you do it?

My Mum and I took my niece and nephew to the zoo.  They wanted to see the snakes.  They were too young to let wander off on their own and Mum flatly refused to go in so it was left to me to supervise them.  They loved it and were trying to get me to look at them up close but I just tried to walk them through as quickly as I could without looking at the snakes but not losing sight of the children. 

But it can’t have been that scary if they were in tanks.

Trust me.  Even if they’re on the television I don’t watch them.

I hope you haven’t passed your fears on to your children.

No they are much more adventurous than me.  The youngest didn’t even mind when someone brought in various animals to his playgroup including a very long python!  I had to leave.

But why is Motherhood scary?  How can a baby be scary?

It’s more about the responsibility.  You suddenly find yourself alone with this little person and you are responsible for keeping it safe, fed and so on.  And you have no control over the way it reacts to you.  Plus they don’t come with instruction manuals.  Yes I know there are lots of books out there that promise to help you through every stage of your child’s life but babies don’t understand the routines you try to establish.  It’s really hard sometimes.

But yours have turned out all right haven’t they?  Well it’s to be hoped they have now that they’re producing children of their own.

You’re so encouraging Alice.

What’s the best bit though?

Knowing that they have turned out alright and you played a part in that.

If it’s so hard why didn’t you stop at one?

Enough with the whys Alice!  You’re beginning to sound like Matthew, my second born and eldest son.  He would persist with asking me why all the time!  I would always try to give him a proper answer but then he would just carry on with another why?  I tried really hard not to say “because I said so” but sometimes I just had to give in.  It was always a battle of wills with him.  Neither of us liked to lose.

Why?

Alice you can be really annoying at times!