JJJ 20/1/26 - Unspoken

Today’s prompt is brought to us by Maggie. Thank you, Maggie! You can find her blog HERE.

Your prompt for JusJoJan January 20th, 2026 is “unspoken.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

And if you want to find out more about this challenge and see who else is taking part, our host the lovely Linda can be found HERE.

Well I'm using this post to jump on the bandwagon of looking back on where I was 10 years ago, i.e. 2016.

2015 hadn't been a great year.  It was the year I left my job and lots of things were left unspoken with regard to that.  But I was looking forward to 2016.  Turning over a new page etc.....

It seems a long time ago now but thankfully my blog helped me fill in some blanks.

We didn't have a great start to the year as my MIL fell while staying with us and broke her hip.  A hip replacement operation was done and although initially she seemed ok, unfortunately while in hospital she began to decline and unfortunately passed away on 22nd January at the age of 87.  It was a very sad time for the whole extended family.

We also had 2 new babies in the extended family by that time but one of them, Poppy, became very ill.  It was a worrying time but eventually she was diagnosed with a rare genetic condition and gradually began to improve.  10 years on and most people wouldn't realise she has this lifelong condition although it does still affect what she can and can't eat but she is such a lovely bubbly girl.  A joy to be around.

In April I had what was defined as a minor surgical procedure but the recovery was a very painful few weeks. Thankfully by then I was doing a lot of blogging.  I'd signed up for the annual A-Z challenge which involved visiting lots of London stations.  I'd also started joining in with Susanne's Fridays Fave Five and I was blogging regularly about the weekly news.  Now I don't even want to watch the news!

Our youngest son and his wife moved in with us so that they could save for their own place.  I think they'd planned for a year but we had them for about 18 months in the end but they were easy to have around the house.

Hubby went from full time work to part time (3 days per week).  Having him around for an extra couple of days took some getting used to! (Not really, well maybe a little.)

Our daughter turned 30 in May and we celebrated with all of us going away for a weekend together which was lovely.  We had a chef come one evening to cook a meal for us and we tried out clay pigeon shooting which was actually fun.

Then in June the unthinkable happened - the UK voted to leave the European Union.  That was definitely a tricky time and we're still getting over the fallout from that decision.  Yes I voted to remain.

There were a couple of funerals during the year.  One was a long time friend who died at the age of 50 following a heart attack. That was a bit of a reminder of how life can be short and we have to make the most of it.  (And yet still my cup is usually half empty.)

Things looked up by the end of the year though - our eldest son got married in the August, meaning all 3 of our children were married and by Christmas we knew we were going to be grandparents in 2017.

We saw all of the kids on Christmas Day and we were definitely looking forward to 2017.

Is your cyber life death prepared?

A blog friend posted tonight about how friends just suddenly stop blogging and disappear.  Except they don't vanish into a black hole because their blog remains as it was since their last entry was posted.   And unless you know that person in real life you may never know what happened or if they are going to return after a break for whatever reason.

That started me thinking about what would happen to my blog when I die.  I know that many people choose to blog anonymously so unlike your funeral wishes (I wrote about that here in my post A letter to my Children.) those left behing might not even know there is a blog to deal with let alone what to do with it.

My Facebook pages and things like Goodreads are seen by other family members so I'm sure, eventually, something would be done about those.  My blog is only seen by one member of my extended family so I'm relying on her to close it down.  She's pretty internet savvy so I'm sure she'll work it out.  I'm also now a lot older than her due to her insistence of not aging beyond a certain point despite there being only 4 months between our birthdays!

Hopefully this won't be an issue for my family just yet but with the ever expanding virtual world there are so many things that could need closing down and removing from the web.  Although we all know that once something is put out on the internet you can never completely remove it. 

Going paperless is a good thing but it's hard to follow a virtual trail.

It's sad that it's taken a bereavement to bring this all to mind.  This is the first year when neither hubby or I have Mothers to visit/call on Mother's Day (tomorrow here in the UK) but I had a delivery of lovely flowers and chocolates from my daughter today so that cheered me up.  She's currently in Rome so I won't see her until later in the week but thanks to the internet we have been able to be in touch.

There are lots of good things to be said for the internet and the advances in technology but sometimes I do think the changes and innovations are happening so fast we don't have time to consider all the implications.  Maybe I need to revisit that letter to my children!

A letter to my children

I have written a letter to my children.  It is to be opened on my death.  It contains instructions for my funeral.

No I have not been diagnosed with anything life threatening.  There is no cause for panic.  Hopefully they won't be opening it for a long time yet and I may even have edited it in the meantime.

Some of you may think this is quite morbid.  However, having spent time last week assisting my husband and his 7 siblings prepare for his Mum's funeral, which took place on Thursday, I think it's the right thing to do.   Maybe if there were less of them it might have been easier.  There were lots of opinions to be combined without upsetting anyone.   But the closeness they share has given them a combined strength and we got through.

Of course it has still been a difficult time with lots of decisions to be made.  Should they provide clothes for her body?  What to do with her ashes?  Which music to play at the crematorium?  That produced a lot of debate.  As did if we aren't having flowers and people offer donations, which charity should we nominate?  Steering 8 opinions into 1 decision was sometimes easy but often tricky.

Inevitably we were all sad, but this was not a tragic or unexpected death.  My MIL was 87 and her life had been happy.  Yet still the siblings struggled with the arrangements.  There were no instructions.  How people cope when a death is sudden or in difficult circumstances I do not know.

It took me back to when I had to arrange my Mother's funeral.  I wasn't prepared for the questions.  We'd discussed burial v cremation - cremation was favoured.  I knew what to do with her ashes.  (Have them placed under the same rose bush as my Dad.)  I had no answers for other things.

I decided then that I wouldn't put my children (or husband) through the same dilemma.  I would make it clear for them.  My Mum passed away in 2012 but I hadn't got around to putting pen to paper.  Now on the passing of my MIL I have found the determination needed to consider my plans.

I hope that when the time comes it will make it easier for my children.