U is for Unicorns

This year I decided not to tie myself to a theme.  I wanted to do something that felt more like writing rather than composing posts.  I didn’t want it to be a story that had to be followed from start to finish so what I’ve ended up with are: “Conversations in my Head”.

You’re very quiet Alice.  Are you ok?

I’m dreaming of unicorns.  Don’t you think they are wonderful creatures?

Umm you do know they don’t actually exist Alice.  They’re mythical.

Well you don’t think I exist and I’m here now so why shouldn’t there be unicorns?  Lots of people believe in them.  They have healing powers.  And they’re cute!

Things with horns are not cute.  The images that you see of unicorns are usually glamourized versions aimed at children.  A horse is a big heavy animal that you don’t want to get on the wrong side of, add in a horn and I wouldn’t be anywhere near one.

Well that’s because you have no sense of adventure.  Imagine riding on one through the forest.  It would be wonderful.

Have you ever ridden a horse Alice?                      

No but it can’t be that difficult surely?

Depends on whether you like heights or having a big heavy creature underneath you.  It’s not as easy as it looks and I don’t think unicorns would like to wear saddles.

You are such a spoilsport.

Just trying to be realistic.

No, you’ve still got your health & safety hat on.  You’re not at work anymore you know.  It’s not your job to make sure everything is safe.

Maybe not but it’s hard turning off that sort of mind set.   Especially now the Grandbabies are around.  I’m always looking out for hazards.

Like that cup of tea you spilt?

The tea was safe I just didn’t realise the reclining chair would nudge the table when I reclined.

I don’t mean that one.  I’m talking about the one today that you left on the floor!  You knocked it over when you went to answer the door.  And you said a rude word!  I had to cover my ears.

Well yes that was a bit clumsy of me.  And I’m sorry for the rude word.  I didn’t think anyone was listening.

I’m always listening.  Although I have to cover my ears a lot.  You need a live in Grandchild.  You never say any of those words out loud when they’re around.

Of course not.  I’m sure they’ll come out with some unwanted words at some point but hopefully not from me.

Yes “oh no” is definitely from you and I’m surprised Nathan doesn’t come out with “oh dear” too.

Well if that’s the worst thing he says I’ll be happy.

You might want to stop calling him sweetie though because once he knows what sweets are he’ll think you’re promising him some.  Oh I forgot.  We need to remember our American readers.  Candy.

Well I’m unlikely to call him Candy so I think we’re safe on that front.

Anyway, that carpet definitely needs cleaning now.

I’ll get the cleaning fairy to do that.

 
Cleaning fairy?  And you think I’m mad believing in unicorns!