Today being Valentine’s Day there is a big focus on love. Deep down we all want to be loved and I am fortunate. I am loved.
I know that not everyone reading this might feel the same way but I can only hope if that’s the case that you can love yourself. We all have our faults and funny ways and for me loving someone means accepting the things you can’t change. That doesn’t mean you won’t try. I’m still trying with hubby from time to time and we’ve been married almost 32 years!
But I’ve come to learn that he doesn’t deliberately do things that can seem hurtful. (Like disappearing off to a black tie dinner when I’m ill in bed without checking that I have food to hand.) He just doesn’t think. He’s not wired that way. And when he’s reminded that he’s being thoughtless he’s genuinely sorry.
The memorable quote from the film “Love Story” is “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Great film but that line’s a load of hogwash! If you upset someone you should say you’re sorry. Just because I love my hubby doesn’t mean he can get off with a free pass every time he appears selfish. But it does mean that I have to accept that even though we might row over something, and he will apologise, he’ll do it again.
And then he’ll make up for it by surprising me with flowers today when we don’t usually bother that much with the commercialised side of Valentine’s Day. Why do we need to have a special day to remind each other of our love? We need to be doing that every day.
I’m also not advocating here that partners should be accepting of abuse, physical or mental. Sometimes you just have to walk away. I know that’s not always easy but where there are deep seated problems and the person is not willing to acknowledge that and seek help, staying in such a relationship is asking for heartache.
So will we be having a romantic dinner for two tonight? Glass of wine? Early night?